Reminiscing on Father’s Day

I have a lot of fond memories of my late Dad. Of course, not all memories are probably worth reminiscing, and if we had a choice, there are certain memories which we’d rather bury. But for me, those memories – good and bad – are made even more precious now that he is gone.

daddy lilet baguio 1976
Daddy and his pouty little girl. Trip to Baguio, 1976

If I were describe a specific memory with my Dad that is fondest to me, it would be the time when I got back from Baguio during the Holy Week of 1995. I was spending the Holy Week in Baguio with my Mom and cousin, but I had to make an emergency trip back because I went down with chickenpox. (I know, I know, I was a late bloomer!) Prior to the trip, Daddy and I were not on speaking terms because he had just found out about my relationship with Baggy. I kept it as a secret from the rest of my family because I was afraid that they would not be able to accept him. He was very mad at me, and he was really hurt because I had somehow “betrayed” his trust.

When Dad opened the door to our house that night when I arrived, he gave me that dagger look which sort of demanded, “What the heck are you doing here?

In a meek voice I told him that I had to go back home because I came down with chickenpox. He just shrugged his shoulders as if to say, “So what does that got to do with me?” You see, Dad had always been the one to tend to us when we got sick. He was always the one who took pains to prepare meals and bring it to our bedside, forcing us to eat even if we didn’t have the appetite. He was the one who got up in the dead of the night to check our temperatures and see if we were alright. He couldn’t sleep if he knew that we were experiencing discomfort or pain.

Clearly, to say that he was still mad at me was an understatement. If Daddy were mad, he’d talk our ears off until he felt better. But the silence was another. It was something that I’d never seen him do.

At that time, I wondered if Daddy would keep up with the cold treatment all throughout and completely ignore me during the rest of my sickness. But know what, I was proven wrong. Even if he was emotionally hurt, he didn’t let that keep him from fulfilling his parental duties to his sick daughter. Daddy would always be Daddy, and in spite of my shortcomings, he tended to me like always, and made sure that I get enough rest while I recovered.

One night, while he was lying on the sofa, probably exhausted from the day’s chores, I mustered the courage to come to his side and try to make amends. I gently caressed his forehead with my hand and said, “Daddy, sorry.” Those were my only words. I don’t remember anymore if I cried, but I do remember that Daddy himself was teary-eyed. It was a very emotional moment for both of us.

After a while, he gave a nod and hugged me. And that was it. I didn’t have to explain anything, and neither did he demand any explanation. Everything was forgiven.

This was what I learned on that day: whatever my faults, whatever wrong I had done to him, whatever I had done that displeased him, his love was always big enough to forgive me.

Nevertheless, it would take another four long years before Daddy would give his permission for Baggy to visit me at home. It didn’t mean that just because he forgave me, the same would be extended to my boyfriend. :) Hey, don’t feel too bad about that, after all, we did end up together. :) On my wedding day, he proudly said in his message: “I did not lose a daughter; instead, I gained a son.” The happiest words I heard on that day.

Now that Baggy is also a Tatay, I could only hope that he and Aya will also have that special kind of relationship that I’d had with my Dad.

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7 Responses to Reminiscing on Father’s Day

  1. Sexy Mom says:

    and now, i remember my dad with fondness. he joined his creator 8 years ago. happ father’s day to Baggy!

  2. のりえ says:

    I think ” Father is Father”, right? You’ve kept a nice this memory for your dad. I beliebe that was great experience for both of you two.

  3. annamanila says:

    Oh my, four years! Your dad was really so protective of you. Dad’s pet/pride si Kathy, I am sure. I remember your previous post about your dad. Last year. Father’s day din siguro yun. I thought what a wonderful relationship you had with your dad. Mine was an ambivalent one with mine …. a many splendored man, so human and so humane and more. I hope I get to write about him before I … you know.

  4. kwtan says:

    Greetings! I hope this message finds you well.

    My name is Katrina, and I am currently based in the Philippines. I was hoping you could help me with something that has to do with Japanese cuisine. May I have you e-mail address?

    Thank you so much!

  5. kathy says:

    Sexy Mom: Thanks! Belated Happy Father’s Day to your hubby too. (Shucks, this is SOOO late!)

    のりえ:I’ve shared a lot of great memories with my late Dad, and I’m happy to share some of those here in my blog.

    Annamanila: We were his “treasures.” My Dad was probably the strictest with me, being his firstborn. I was already doing my Master’s when I got a bf, and yet he was still very protective of me. When my youngest sister had a bf, she was still an undergrad, but my Dad didn’t even protest! Say, I’m looking forward to that blogpost about your father!

  6. noel says:

    grabeh. 4 years before he was able to visit your house? and you were already taking your masters? bilib gyud ko ni epifanio dah.

  7. kathy says:

    katrina, thanks for visiting my blog. sorry for the rather late reply! i hope you had found someone who can help you with your request.

    noel, matinik yang si baggy…heheh!

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