Not So Easy

Whenever I am with Aya in Filipino gatherings, most of them would often inquire: “How old is she?” And after being told about her age, they would make the dreaded expected follow-up question: “So kelan nyo susundan? Wala pa ba kasunod? (So when’s the next one? None yet?)”

 

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Aya and her gummy grin at 11 weeks

 

Others are not so discreet and would unabashedly tell it to my face: “Sundan nyo na! (This would be literally translated, “Follow it up!” But perhaps “Make another one!” would be the more appropriate translation.)

 

Easier said than done, folks. We never said that we don’t want more.

 

In those situations, I usually just whip up my standard response: “Yeah.” “Uhm….?” “We’re trying.” “We’ll wait and see.”

 

You see, there’s a bit of a story before our daughter was successfully conceived.

 

I wrote all about it in my pregnancy blog. But I guess, everyone else became too preoccupied with the fact that there was a new baby, than to be concerned with the so-called “problems” prior to conception.

 

“The ovaries are not working anymore.” That was what the doctor said. “It would be very difficult for you to have children.” Those were his words during our consultation session. I had already been given a second round of hormonal injections a few weeks before, and the findings still indicated that the ovaries were simply not responding at all.

 

As Baggy and I stepped outside the clinic, I couldn’t help but cry. I wanted children, although I didn’t want them so soon. I was only concerned about my overall reproductive health. I wanted children later, and wanted to make sure that I could still have them when the appropriate time comes.

 

But the thought that we could very well end up not having any children made me feel sad and dejected. Wouldn’t that be the greatest paradox of all – just about the time you feel you are ready to have children, that’s the time you find out that you can’t?

 

I was about to start on prescribed medication – to induce ovulation – when wonder of all wonders, I got pregnant.

 

Tell me, how was that possible? Just about the time the lazy ovaries finally decided to crank up, the window of opportunity for fertilization presented itself. Some may call it a miracle.

 

Being pregnant all of a sudden threw my plans out of whack. But sometimes, having something you don’t want is infinitely better than wanting something you can’t have.

 

Would Aya become an “ATE (elder sister)” someday? My doctor still says it’s impossible, given the lazy ovaries’ preference for sporadic hibernation. But I know, for one, that he has been wrong before. Aya is a living testament to that.

 

For another, I know that there’s always hope. 😉

 

Personally, I wouldn’t mind having only one child. For me, Aya is one of the best things that ever happened to me. I really couldn’t ask for more. Wouldn’t YOU want to have a child as adorable as this one?

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2 Responses to Not So Easy

  1. bw says:

    Our daughter is about Aya’s age and we are asked the same question too – may kasunod ba yan ? We actually thought of giving our daughter a playmate but in this part of the world, it is so difficult to raise kids. So our reply is – this is it for us – but who knows, perhaps we will bite the bullet and have another one :)

  2. kathy says:

    Same here. It’s not that easy to raise children here, especially that both of us are working. I’m so envious of my sister in the Philippines who has not only one, but TWO household helpers who can help her. And she only has one daughter so far.

    So, unahan na lang tayo sa kasunod? :)

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